In 1963 or so, I think my elementary school handled an incident of overt antisemitism correctly. And I don't know why bad behavior today is not treated the same.way - immediately, with reasonable and appropriate consequences. I am Jewish from a non-religious family, growing up in cities with almost invisible Jewish communities. One day in 6th grade, a school bully, in class, called me a k*ke. I'd never heard the word before, but assumed it was bad and she was being a bully. The teacher, writing on the chalkboard chose to not hear or react to this incident. Thus began the origin of my civil rights engagement (and theatre career). In the loudest non-yelling voice I could muster, I said something back, like "You take that back (school bully)!" Now the teacher HAD to respond. I had never misbehaved at school like this before, and was shocked when the teacher sent me and the bully out of the class, and to wait for him outside. When he came out, he asked what all this was about. I'd seen enough cartoons and B&W gangster movies to know I was not to "snitch", and the bully wasn't talking either, so our teacher sent us to (gulp) the Principal, who saw us immediately. When he couldn't get either of us to talk, he flipped a coin and whoever lost had to describe what happened. (The bully was forced to talk first.) After, I was sent back to class, but the school bully was immediately suspended for, I think, 3 days, had to read some book on Jewish history, write a book report on it, and return with her parents to give him the report before she was allowed back to school. What I liked - as both a kid and now an adult - is that a problem was immediately addressed by both the teacher and the principal, the parents were formally involved, and age appropriate punishment was administered. That did not stop the bully from making my life hell all through sixth grade and on into junior high school, but I think having immediate action, clear repercussions that were appropriate to the age and appropriate to the incident, made me feel like I was safe at school and fully supported.
When I had my own child, I saw a friend of his be terribly treated by other kids at school, and the principal doing nothing about it, even after many promises to the bullied kid's mom that action would be taken. But NO action was taken, and so the behavior continued until the parent of the bullied kid hired a lawyer, because the school was not providing a safe environment. (Why did the principal not do anything? My theory is that the bullies had wealthy parents who pulled a lot of weight in our town, but I really don't know why. Needless to say, the bullied child was supported in Court, and the school district was on the hook for $60,000. Which is sometimes the only way an institution will change its ways.) Why are schools so reluctant to deal with cruelty and bad behavior in a way that everyone can understand? I just don't get it.
"Is it part of the school's job to teach students not to act like racist asshats? And how do you even do that? Is it the school's job to help students grow to be decent, civilized human beings, and are we really going to have to argue with people who want to argue that learning to be a decent, well-educated, civilized human being doesn't necessarily mean unlearning racism, or, at a bare minimum, learning to keep your racist asshattery unspoken and unshared?"
This column resonates so strongly with my experiences in teaching kids to... get along, for lack of a better descriptor. If students are distracted by asshattery of any dimension, they can't work together, talk together or learn much of anything.
Your last sentence is what initiated this comment: Kids *did*, in fact, learn to hide their (or their families') unacceptable beliefs and language, in my experience. Schools do establish norms for communicating. Teachers do model respectful discourse. Teachers-- surprise, surprise-- can't just dispense knowledge. They have to create the social conditions where students can learn.
But something has changed. There is a new sense of permission to cross boundaries of racism, sexism, xenophobia.
In 1963 or so, I think my elementary school handled an incident of overt antisemitism correctly. And I don't know why bad behavior today is not treated the same.way - immediately, with reasonable and appropriate consequences. I am Jewish from a non-religious family, growing up in cities with almost invisible Jewish communities. One day in 6th grade, a school bully, in class, called me a k*ke. I'd never heard the word before, but assumed it was bad and she was being a bully. The teacher, writing on the chalkboard chose to not hear or react to this incident. Thus began the origin of my civil rights engagement (and theatre career). In the loudest non-yelling voice I could muster, I said something back, like "You take that back (school bully)!" Now the teacher HAD to respond. I had never misbehaved at school like this before, and was shocked when the teacher sent me and the bully out of the class, and to wait for him outside. When he came out, he asked what all this was about. I'd seen enough cartoons and B&W gangster movies to know I was not to "snitch", and the bully wasn't talking either, so our teacher sent us to (gulp) the Principal, who saw us immediately. When he couldn't get either of us to talk, he flipped a coin and whoever lost had to describe what happened. (The bully was forced to talk first.) After, I was sent back to class, but the school bully was immediately suspended for, I think, 3 days, had to read some book on Jewish history, write a book report on it, and return with her parents to give him the report before she was allowed back to school. What I liked - as both a kid and now an adult - is that a problem was immediately addressed by both the teacher and the principal, the parents were formally involved, and age appropriate punishment was administered. That did not stop the bully from making my life hell all through sixth grade and on into junior high school, but I think having immediate action, clear repercussions that were appropriate to the age and appropriate to the incident, made me feel like I was safe at school and fully supported.
When I had my own child, I saw a friend of his be terribly treated by other kids at school, and the principal doing nothing about it, even after many promises to the bullied kid's mom that action would be taken. But NO action was taken, and so the behavior continued until the parent of the bullied kid hired a lawyer, because the school was not providing a safe environment. (Why did the principal not do anything? My theory is that the bullies had wealthy parents who pulled a lot of weight in our town, but I really don't know why. Needless to say, the bullied child was supported in Court, and the school district was on the hook for $60,000. Which is sometimes the only way an institution will change its ways.) Why are schools so reluctant to deal with cruelty and bad behavior in a way that everyone can understand? I just don't get it.
"Is it part of the school's job to teach students not to act like racist asshats? And how do you even do that? Is it the school's job to help students grow to be decent, civilized human beings, and are we really going to have to argue with people who want to argue that learning to be a decent, well-educated, civilized human being doesn't necessarily mean unlearning racism, or, at a bare minimum, learning to keep your racist asshattery unspoken and unshared?"
This column resonates so strongly with my experiences in teaching kids to... get along, for lack of a better descriptor. If students are distracted by asshattery of any dimension, they can't work together, talk together or learn much of anything.
Your last sentence is what initiated this comment: Kids *did*, in fact, learn to hide their (or their families') unacceptable beliefs and language, in my experience. Schools do establish norms for communicating. Teachers do model respectful discourse. Teachers-- surprise, surprise-- can't just dispense knowledge. They have to create the social conditions where students can learn.
But something has changed. There is a new sense of permission to cross boundaries of racism, sexism, xenophobia.